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Thank you for this opportunity.
I grew up raised a catholic. As a child, everyone is more or less impressionable and I was no different, so going through all those things – catechism, first communion, Sunday Mass – was something that I felt I just had to go through and that that’s how life was. It was a bit like getting a shot – wasn’t fun but if you’re patient it’s quickly done and finished. It’s amazing how so much programming lives by people continually taking that route, but I digress.
I think the most impressive memory I have of those days for something connected to religion and to what I believed was God is probably having read an illustrated version of the book of Apocalypse. Fear is probably the predominant energy in that book as it seems to be the case with any religion where you are offered only “salvation” or “hell” as reward for your actions on Earth (the deciding factor, of course, is following Church rules). There was other literature and other “teachings” such as the Sunday school (or catechism) where Church programming got reinforced. Wasn’t all bad as I had an ok voice and ended up doing some singing around those years at local holliday shows, which was very enjoyable.
Come the teenage years though and a lot of the Church rituals and habits started feeling increasingly phoney, like some dead weight that only drags down. Eventually my mother relented and instead of continue to fight it she said if I didn’t want to go I didn’t need to. Oh boy, was I happy with that!
For the next 12 years or so I became increasingly an atheist. I think atheism is just anger at bad experiences with the Church and anger at the sorry things the world has that’s anesthetised (killed) into some cold-hearted theory where there is no spirit and we’re all merely chunks of chemicals drudging along until our personal demise.
Starting to study and make art (the contemporary, ugly kind) in my early twentes only came to reinforce that godless worldview and by the mid-twenties I had become a pretty cynical person.
Eventually art wasn’t fulfilling enough and I started spending less time with it and more time with other things. I had always been the curious sort, reading a lot as a child, and having reached adulthood some of the nagging questions in the back of my head started to come formed into words and sentences such as “what is the nature of money?”, “who, if anyone, is running this world?”. It didn’t help that the mass media looked every bit a propaganda instrument and that wars got started over planes crashing into buildings. I often turned to the internet for answers, or at least information, but most websites on alternative history and news that I visited in those days weren’t very good – they were more like disinformation outlets, designed to take frustrated people like myself off track and away from the good stuff.
Eventually I found myself reaching good stuff like ‘Don and Carol’s Adventures’, writtings by Stephanie and Michael Relfe. Even a lovely book on magic called “A Practical Guide to Witchcraft and Magick Spells” by Cassandra Eason. I’ll explain why these three were more significant for me at the time.
The Adventures were probably the first time where I was confronted by something that seemed absolutely fantastical and plausible at the same time. Aliens? Spirit conversations? Underground bases defeated by life energy? It was all so weird but somehow it didn’t feel like a lie or even exageration. I didn’t pick up on orgonite until some 3 years later but reading the Adventures was very inspiring from the first moment, it was like a window to another place that seemed every bit as real as the material stuff I was surrounded with and it felt important.
The Relfes went through some tough times and some of their writtings helped me develop. This was a personal experience so there’s no guarantee that it will happen to someone else but one of the writtings they have is to do with self protection and keeping bad energies and entities away from your space… in essence it is reclaiming your own space and your life from parasitic entities. I rememeber using that for myself and getting… I think it’s called the khundalini. The energy came in waves from the bottom of my spine from the top of my head while I was doing that exercise. It was a very strong experience. At the time I was looking at different things, looking for tools to reclaim my life. This was around the time I started making orgonite, in 2007, but probably before I encountered Dooney’s exercises.
The Practical Guide to Witchcraft I probably encountered very early in my search for good tools. At the time I don’t think I even knew what I was searching for but this book exemplifies it perfectly: basically it’s a system or set of tools of how to look at the (spiritual) nature of the universe and taking charge of myself and my space. This doesn’t mean that one or the other method, or book, or whatever source is superior to another, or even “THE” only way. Those things are just tools, they are like user’s manuals that are more or less complete, more or less accurate and just happened to be written by different people. Every piece of technology you can make use of comes with some kind of manual but no so with the spirit! We’re just dropped here and more or less have to find the tools (even have to figure out that we need tools at all) to be able to deal with the spiritual part of life. Of course we do get help from beneficial spiritual entities 😉
Back to the book – it’s a very sweet and light introduction to how to visualise energy and use the intention to create things. It’s got more than that but what I remember best is drawing vortexes of energy with my index finger in the ample space of the studio where I lived in at the time. Great fun!
One of the sweetest memories I have is being boosted by a whole group of people. Boosting is sending love energy from the heart and some people around the world gather in chat sessions and boost some specific problems that are troubling them. This is a very effective way of positively changing reality and that’s what I was doing at the moment. When they boosted me I just felt relaxed and peaceful, like a child in a mother’s arms and at the same time it felt as I was being charged up with life energy. I do these and more exercises from donebydooney.com which for me are a great set of tools.